WELCOME BACK MR. PRESIDENT?

 HOPEFULLY OUR PRESIDENT WILL RUN WITH HIS DECISIVENESS AND GRASP

WHAT PLAQUES THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND OUR WALLETS!

2 DEATHS IN GULF CLEAN-UP

COAST GUARD REPORTS 2 DEAD IN CLEAN UP!

WHERES MANS COMMON SENSE?

I READ THIS SOME WHERE
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CUTE FOR
  FATHERS DAY

I HOPE EVERY MAN HAS A GREAT DAY!




ONLY A MAN WOULD


ATTEMPT THIS





Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.



A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary

submitted this:



Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my

interest.

The occasion was our 15th

anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a

100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized taser.

The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no

long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to

retreat to safety....??



WAY TOO COOL!!



Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.



I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.



Nothing! I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it

against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.



AWESOME!!!



Unfortunately, I

have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her

microwave.



Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it

couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There

I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting

little soul)

while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to

try

this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.



I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and

thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to give this

thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance

that it would work as advertised.



Am I wrong? So,

there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately

on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.



The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your

assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major

loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your

assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the

batteries.



All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"

long, less

than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two

itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What

happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...



I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head

cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it you big dummy,' reasoning that a one

second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad, I decided to give

myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

GOOD HEAVENS!!... ...



WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .



WHAT THE HECK!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door,

picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and

over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with

tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to

be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling

in my legs. The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before,

clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an

attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.



Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of

caution: there is no such thing as a "one second burst" when you zap yourself!

You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a

violent thrashing about on the floor.. A "three second burst" would be considered

conservative? IT HURT LIKE HECK!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as

time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I

had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.



The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where

it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.



My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my

bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.



Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense

of smell was gone.

I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.



I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a

significant reward for their safe return!!

P.S.



My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think

Education is difficult, try being Stupid.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING MR.BP?

WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM HISTORY HOPEFULLY HOW TO DEAL WITH OUR FUTURE!

WHO'S LOOKING AT THE IXTOC I,WHICH TOOK NINE MONTHS TO CAP IN 1979.

WHAT ABOUT IN 1983 DURING THE IRAN IRAQ WAR IT TOOK SIX MONTHS TO CAP
THE NORWUZ PLATFORM WHICH OF COURSE WAS SET ABLAZE.

BP SAYS ITS DRILLING RELIEF WELL, WELL WHY CANT THAT BE AT LEAST PARTIALLY DONE BEFORE THEY START DRILLING?

WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST?

OIL SPILLS


In November 1988, the American-owned Odyssey drilling rig burst into flames and split in two off the coast of Novia Scotia. The accident killed one person and poured 43 million gallons of oil into the sea.
132,000 Tons spilled


On April 11, 1991. The M/T Haven, a Very Large Crude Carrier (VLCC), suffered a huge explosion off the coast of Genoa, Italy.Six crew members were killed, and the Mediterranean coasts of Italy and France remained polluted for the next 12 years..
144,000 Tons spilled.


On March 16, 1978, the Amoco Cadiz supertanker wrecked off the coast of Portsall, France. Ultimately, 240 miles of France’s Brittany coast suffered oil damage, with millions of dead mollusks and sea urchins washing ashore. This was the first time images of oil-coated sea birds were seen by the world.
223,000 Tons spilled


On August 6, 1983, a fire broke out aboard the Spanish tanker Castillo de Bellver, causing a massive explosion that spilled 78 million gallons of oil off the coast of Cape Town, South Africa. A shift in winds pushed the oil offshore, minimizing the disaster’s environmental effects.
252,000 Tons spilled


On May 28, 1991 The Liberian supertanker ABT Summer exploded off the coast of Angola.killing five crew members. Millions of gallons of oil leaked into the Atlantic Ocean.
260,000 Tons spilled


On February 10, 1983, at the height of the Iran-Iraq War, an oil tanker collided with the Nowruz platform in the Persian Gulf. The slick caught fire when Iraqi planes attacked, and it took Iranian workers more than six months to cap the well. Eleven people died in the process.
260,000 Tons spilled


In March 1992, 88 million gallons of oil spilled from a well in Fergana Valley, a densely populated industrial and agricultural zone in Uzbekistan. It remains the largest inland oil spill in history.
285,000 Tons spilled


On July 19, 1979, two gigantic supertankers collided off the Caribbean island of Little Tobago during a tropical rainstorm. The accident killed 26 crew members and dumped millions of gallons of crude oil into the sea.The Atlantic Empress and the Aegean Captain.
287,000 Tons spilled


On June 3, 1979 The exploratory oil well Ixtoc I exploded in the Gulf of Mexico, spewing 140 million gallons of oil into the open sea. It took control experts more than nine months to cap the spill and begin cleanup. Thousands of endangered sea turtles were airlifted to safety when the oil slick encroached upon their nesting site.
454,000-480,000 Tons spilled


In January 1991, Iraqi forces deliberately released more than 240 million gallons of crude oil into the Persian Gulf in an attempt to thwart an amphibious landing by the U.S. Marines. The resulting oil slick ravaged the area’s marine ecosystem, killing thousands of seabirds and endangering other wildlife. To date, it remains the worst disaster of its kind.
1,360,000-1,500,000 Tons spilled


On April 20, 2010, an explosion aboard the Deepwater Horizon, a large drilling rig leased by the oil company BP, killed 11 crew members and set off a massive blaze. The burning rig sank two days later into the Gulf of Mexico, unleashing a toxic gush of oil that has continued to leak at an alarming—and perhaps unprecedented—rate.
????????? Tons spilled


 

 BP OIL HISTORY

1909, as the Anglo-Persian Oil Company, Ltd. It was renamed the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company, Ltd., in 1935 and changed its name to the British Petroleum Company Limited in 1954. The name British Petroleum Company PLC was adopted in 1982. After merging with Amoco in 1998, the corporation took the name BP Amoco before assuming the name BP PLC in 2000. The company's headquarters are in London.


In 1914 the British government became the company's principal stockholder and remained so. Effective January 1, 1955, British Petroleum became a holding company. Beginning in 1977 the British government reduced its ownership of British Petroleum by selling shares to the public, and in the late 1980s the government turned over British Petroleum entirely to private ownership by selling its remaining shares. This cleared the way for British Petroleum to acquire Britoil PLC, an independent oil company that produced oil from the North Sea fields.


Alaska's Prudhoe Bay and in the United Kingdom sector of the North Sea, where, in 1965, British Petroleum made the first commercial discovery of natural gas and, in 1970, the first discovery of a major oil field. Beginning in 1970, BP merged its assets in the United States with those of the Standard Oil Company (Ohio), in which BP acquired a controlling interest. In 1987 BP acquired the remainder of the Standard Oil Company for almost $8 billion, thereby reinforcing its position as one of the world's leading oil companies. In merging with U.S. oil giant Amoco in 1998, the newly created BP Amoco became the largest petroleum concern in the world.!


It operates convenience stores and filling stations through brands such as BP, Aral, ARCO, and AM/PM


I WAS TAUGHT TO LOOK BACK AT THE PAST TO DETERMINE AWAY OF AVOIDING FUTURE MISTAKES!

WHATS HAPPENING TO OUR WORLD?

B.P. OIL
AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, AS A MEMBER OF THIS WORLD
I DEMAND THAT ALL DRILLING SITES HAVE A RELEASE LINE
ALREADY DRILLED PART WAY. I ALSO DEMAND THAT YOU ARE
UP FRONT AND TRUTHFUL WITH US!

WHERES OUR COMMON SENSE?

   







      

Thomas Paine was the author of a very important pamphlet called Common Sense that was published in 1776. He wrote a compelling argument for independence from Great Britain. His pamphlet convinced many colonists and founding fathers of the wisdom of open rebellion against the British if necessary. Further, he published another pamphlet called The Crisis during the Revolutionary War that helped spur on the soldiers to fight.

i sometimes want to revolt against things that are going on
in our country. i sometimes wonder what happened to us?
i sometimes wonder what we could do to get back on the
right track.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BIRDIE HOUSE?

Now the birdie house had electricity a couple of bedrooms, a kitchen a bathroom and a living room.the porch was huge and screened in. now there were rules and sorta the way things went there.My drampy had the only allowed tv in his room,which at that time was black and white he only watched the news. You never entered unless he himself asked you to, I don't remember even my parents ever going in there. the kitchen was small but the BBQ outside could hold enough for twenty people!only two neighbors on that road,the family that lived across the dirt road as you came in and the old man down the road where it spilt into two.
drampy did the barbecuing no exceptions.the property was huge, well to us kids it was.and we had full run of it.

Behind the cabin was more dense than up front,that was kept clear and mowed . On the far side my nanner had a garden we were not allowed to be around unless we were helping her. Now back on the side you entered from by the BBQ there was a cement foundation that also been screened in with two picnic tables and a roof.This was ours we could play out there all day, i remember in the rain being out there thinking what a wonderful man my dramps was because he had made this for us! He would have us do things out there gather different types of leaves and bark and look them up,bugs and creatures he taught their names and what they did . I remember once my brother Scott and i went with nanner and drampy and when we got there drampy did his check of the property and sure enough he had caught a skunk in a trap. Now he explained to get close enough to release the skunk it would spray, and of course if he shot it it would spray.He wasn't trying to catch the skunk so it should not die because of human error. We were sent to the porch with nanner and we each got our own soda pop bottle that in its self was a biggie.My drampy then went to release it knowing full well what was about to happen!